Truly Awesome Coconut Bread

I've done it. I've finally done it.

I know now how Frankenstein felt that moment he saw his creation succeed. That moment of pride mixed with disbelief that it actually worked. How he must have felt like sharing it with the world but the world wasn't ready for it yet .

I have made bread.... That is not bread. (pause for the audience to contemplate)

Behold! Coconut Bread! Quick, easy, cheap, quite neutral in taste, it has the texture and tenacity of bread but takes a fraction of the time with a fraction of the carbs. (Not to mention gluten, wheat, rice, and misc. grain free.) (Here's another pair of parentheses because I like them.)

Let's get on with it shall we?!

Add one 1/4 cup of coconut flour to your favorite bowl. 

Coconut flour, pink bowl.

Here's the magic ingredient right here: xanthan gum. Now this stuff is a bit on the pricey side, but you only need a very tiny amount to make a significant difference. The most important part is adding it to the dry mix so you can get it dispersed well before the liquid ingredients. Add 1/2 tsp.

Xanthan gum, still pink bowl.

Because I like easy to remember recipes, add 1/2 tsp of both salt and baking powder (powder! Not soda. Powder makes itself rise, and is not reliant on acidity) to the mix. 

Power to the powder.

Salt too.

Stir this as if your life depended on it. 

Close enough.

Coconut flour is notorious for clumps and lumps, if this offends your OCD enough, you can use a sifter. I'm super lazy and at some point my desire for lump free batter is overcome by my increasing apathy for kitchen work.

Add three eggs, a splash of vanilla, and sweetener of your choice.

Eggcelent.

You don't have to add vanilla, but I will judge you for it.

A little sweetness goes a long way.

Now... stir!

Perfect.

At some point it will lose the glossy wet look and resemble something like playdough. However unlike playdough it is extremely difficult to handle and manipulate. Dig the rubber spatula from the back of your drawer and wet it. Sculpt it into a ball.

Just noticed a clump... *twitch*

Taadaaaa!

Find a microwave safe container and butter it up. Plop it and (optionally) pat it down.

Plop.

Pat.

Now while watching microwave it on high for ~3 minutes. I am sure you could get more even cooking if you wanted biscuit or burger sized bread but at this size you have to draw the line between fully cooked and moistness. Ultimately there will be a tiny bit resembling a peak in the middle that is undercooked, which is easy enough to cut off at the end. 

Bam!

Tip the container over onto a plate. Isn't is lovely? 

I think the pictures speak for themselves. 

Recipe:

1/4c coconut flour

1/2tsp xanthan gum

1/2tsp salt

1/2tsp baking powder

3 eggs

optional: splash of vanilla

optional: sweetener of choice

Add dry ingredients together and mix well. Add eggs and vanilla and mix until playdough texture. Put in a microwave safe container and cook for around 3 minutes. 

Nutrition for whole recipe: Calories- 364, Net Carbs- 7g (20 - 13), Protein- 25g, Fat- 20g