The Humble Beet

Hi.

Beets are super awesome, for the following reasons:

• cheap!
• easy!
• nutritious!
• delicious!
• RED

After you're done with the cooking, your hands will be a terrifying shade of red. This is absolutely the best part, besides the whole eating part.

The first step is slicing off the skin, which I do with a humongous knife, because how else do you role play a serial killer with vegetables?

AHHHH OMG AHHHHHHH!

Then I chop it up into bite sized squares. Any shape will do, but smaller = faster cook time.

Going swimmingly.

Throw in pot and add just enough water to cover. Put a lid on, and boil the living daylights out of the beets. This will probably take forever, however it takes less forever when the lid is on. Also, keep the lid on. Probably should keep the lid on as well. (get the point?!) This ends up giving you a bit of a pressure cooker effect.

FINALLY.

 After forever is done, and the beets are soft and easily pierced with a fork held by a baby, add a 1 to 1.5 ratio of vinegar and sugar. For about 2 beets, I add about 1/2c vinegar and 3/4c sugar. Stir and cook down the liquid to more a syrup, and add spices to taste (cinnamon, cloves, allspice, and nutmeg are good choices).

Bite me.

YAY DELICIOUS BEETS! Not only are they spectacularly yummy, you now have disturbing red hands and a dirty butcher knife. Let whoever does dishes think what they may.

Fried Fridays

It's Friday! And we we so excited for gettin' a little pot...assium in our system. That's right, it's plantain time!

O hai! ^ ^

I will admit right here that I'm particularly partial to these faux bananas, they have a subdued banana taste with a much starchier texture. They're a bit more work to eat than a banana, but completely worth it. You get a hefty helping of potassium, magnesium, and other vitamins (A, C B6) as well as that much needed fried fatty happiness we all crave from time to time.

The first step is letting the plantain sit somewhere until it's ripened. Black will be the sweetest. I couldn't wait anymore so mine is more yellow than black.

Naked and ready.

Peel off the skin the best you can. Plantains are sticky, slippery messes to peel, and my least favorite part of this whole process.

Gettin' fried.

Slice and heat oil nearly to smoking point in a skillet. I used olive oil because I'm trying to be healthy, dangit. But butter works fine and adds to that lovely caramelized taste at the end.

Totally toasted, man.

Flip them when you see brown.

Chillin' with my homies.

Dry them out on a paper towel. When you can touch them without your nerve endings screaming in agony, they're done! Enjoy!

Righteous.

(Remember, consume in moderation. Please contact your doctor if you experience any of the following side effects: pregnancy, spontaneous dancing, an overwhelming desire to use slang, rash, projectile vomiting, or an inability to stop smiling. These messages are not approved by the FDA and are likely extremely dangerous and illegal.)